Think racial perception isn't an issue.
Here you go....
I have been volunteering at my church, working in the nursery for Vacation Bible School. Amongst my small people is a little boy named S- He is a 2 year old African American child. He is very verbal, and a little busy and a little impulsive- just like pretty much every two old on Earth. I am also working with, among other people, an adult who I will call Adult for the purpose of this post.
Today S was playing near the other children when one reports that he hit her with a ball. None of the adults saw it and there was no indication that it happened (or that it happened intentionally- and let's face it- 2 year olds do lots of stuff unintentionally) Adult and one of the other volunteers mention that we might need a time out spot. (so already we are talking about punishment- even though no one witnessed the infraction and there seems to be little to no harm from the alleged incident)
About 4 minutes later, another child complains that S has kicked him (and they are all playing in a very small space) Again there are no indications that there was a conflict or that the "kick" happened deliberately. Again the time out conversation ensues (and as a behaviorist and a person with experience in child development- time out is inappropriate for the situation)
Then I hear this from Adult (paraphrased)
"Maybe we need to have S play alone- he is dangerous today"
In case you missed it- this is a 2 YEAR OLD CHILD, behaving like a 2 YEAR OLD CHILD.
Was he being impulsive- yes
Did he hit and kick other children- maybe
Was he being aggressive- not really
But of all the adjectives that could be used (whether accurate or not), the one Adult chose was DANGEROUS, to describe a 2 year old.
Maybe Adult would have used that word to describe any of the other children.
But I doubt it.
1 comment:
This breaks my heart and hits too close to home for me ;-( Someone I believed to be a "good" friend told me that her little girl was afraid of my boys when the boys were 2 and 3 years old. As our conversation continued, it was clear that it was only my black boys that she was afraid of and not any other boys their age that were white. When I asked if it was because they were black, trying only to understand the situation, it was brought to my attention that it was I that had the issues! PLEASE!!! Thanks for the article. It helps me see it's not just me. Unfortunately, we were not able to reconcile the issues and we are not friends anymore.
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