Showing posts with label advocacy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advocacy. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

You Better Recognize

Written by Buddy Lewis

One of the problems I see facing Black America is this notion that to be a good Christian, you must be a Republican.  I don't see Jesus being a Christian Conservative.  First of all, he was an illegal immigrant in Nazareth.  Second, he was a carpenter, so he was probably in the union.  Jesus believed in health care 'cause he healed the sick for free.  He fed the hungry and hung out with the poor.  He didn't favor the wealthy 'cause he turned over the merchant tables at the temple and he told the rich man to give away all his stuff if he wanted to follow him.  And he believed in the government taxing 'cause he told a disciple to "give unto Caesar what is Caesar's"  He was wrongly convicted and given a death penalty.  And last, he hung out around 12 men.  Odds are one of them disciples was gay!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

What the ----?, National Association for Gun Rights


 I think that what we need right now is responsible gun control that balances the right to own a gun with the needs of public safety.

However- when gun rights groups put out crap like this (along with the raving lunatics of the NRA and Alex Jones) I am starting to wonder if our "mental health problem" is really with the leaders of gun rights groups and what they are telling their membership.  

It really makes me think maybe we should take away everyone's gun and you can get yours back when you prove you aren't a raving lunatic who thinks it's funny to use racism to make a point.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

If This is How We Teach Social Skills, We are in Big Trouble

So I am currently shopping online for Christmas gifts for the kiddos and was looking at a listing for this toy on Target.com
Here are the product specifications....
 
This Nerf Vortex Lumatron blaster brings serious action to the battlefield. The magazine-fed disc blaster shoots glow-in-the dark. It includes a 10-disc magazine, 10 plastic discs and instructions.
  • Manufacturer's Suggested Age: 4 Years and Up
  • Includes: Figure
  • Educational Focus: Social Skills
  • Dimensions: 14.49 " H x 3.7 " W x 5.98 " L
  • Product Weight: 2.4 Lb.
  • Care and Cleaning: Wipe Clean With a Damp Cloth

If guns (even Nerf ones) are what passes for social skills education in this country, that certainly explains a lot

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Adopted or Abducted?

I have to remember to watch this and stock up on tissues- I couldn't even make it through this preview without crying

May 1, 2012   Dan Rather Reports: Adopted or Abducted

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

An Actual Award (that is Worth Something)

In light of the Circle of Moms fiasco, iAdoptee started a contest for the Top 25 Adoptee Rights Blogs Written by Adoptive Mothers.   To qualify the blog author must be an adoptive mother and they must have done at least one post about adoptee's rights to their original birth certificates.  

I am proud and honored to say I made the list.  

Unfortunately it is a pretty short list which makes me sad because adoptive moms SHOULD care that their children are denied their OBC even after they reach adulthood.  In fact, I would go so far and say that for an a-mom not to care about this issue makes them pretty darn selfish.  The hard work of being an adoptive parent means remembering that it isn't about you.  The minute that baby is separated from from their first family it stops being about you and starts being about them.  And this is a huge issue for adoptees- it is a huge issue for first families and it must be a huge issue for adoptive families too.  So adoptive moms- it's time for us to step up to the plate and realize that providing adoptees with their OBC is about fairness and justice and not about us at all.  So fellow a-moms.... Let's hear your voices.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Falsified Document? Nope- Just My Kid's Birth Certificate

Did you know that at the finalization of an adoption the child's original birth certificate is sealed, and a new one is issued with the adoptive parents names on it. 

I will admit that this is not a topic I have given much thought about because I thought of it more as a domestic adoptee issue but in reading some adoptee and first mother blogs I realize how fundamental of an issue this is.  And then it occurred to me it really effects my kids too.  For K her Ethiopian issued birth certificate lists us as her parents, although I believe it says adoptive (vs. natural) parents- but without pulling out of the safety deposit box I am not 100% sure.  For D though, we do have her original birth certificate- but due to the nature of Chinese adoption there isn't really much information on it.  But when we re-adopted them a couple of years ago we had new birth certificates from the state issued.  We did primarily to have birth certificates that were in English and more user friendly (D's Chinese BC is 4 pages long in a A4 size folder).  
The girls' new birth certificates are identical to the boys with the exception of the information about hospital, attending doctor and time of birth. 

Identical.

Think about that.  We are listed as giving birth to them.  In one act, the state has legally erased their first families.   
Sign, sealed and filed away.  
  Yes I am their parent but I am not the parent who gave birth to them as the certificate says.
The new document is a legal fiction.

And not only is the document a legal fiction but in the vast majority of states the original birth certificate is sealed FOREVER.  Even after adulthood an adoptee in most states is unable to view their original birth certificate.

Luckily for my kids, because the state did not issue the original birth certificate, it is not sealed and we have multiple copies of them.  Most adoptees are not so lucky.

One thing that I saw clearly these past two weeks is the irrefutable was the way the deck is stacked in favor of the adoptive parents at the expense of the parents who brought the child into the world.   I know that there are adoptive parents who loudly proclaim they are the real parents and they want the paperwork to show that. 
 But at what cost to the child and first family? 
 Adoptees have two sets of parents and if you, as an adoptive parent, can't deal with that. maybe adoption isn't for you. 

I am at a loss to understand why states don't develop a birth certificate that respectfully identifies their original family, acknowledges their current family and does so in way to keep their adoption story private should they want it to remain private. 

However, what I am at a far greater loss to understand why the original birth certificates can not be issued to adult adoptees without question.  That document contains fundamental information about who they ARE, not just who they were.  
Why in 2012 is this even an issue?

Think about this- if President Obama had been adopted- it would have been impossible for him to get his birth certificate to prove he was born in the US. 
IMPOSSIBLE. 
For the President of the United States.

Makes you wonder what they are hiding

For more information about how to support the overturning of these archaic laws and to find out about National Adoptee Rights Day please click here

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Well This is an Interesting Development

I just got this email.....

Hello,

After serious consideration, we have decided to cancel our Adoption Blogs by Moms – 2012 contest. Our Top 25 program is meant to celebrate, connect, and support mom bloggers. Following some feedback from participants in our 2011 contest, we decided to make this year's Top 25 more inclusive. In doing so, we unknowingly stepped into a very sensitive issue and debate, and we apologize to all the moms who have been offended, no matter what your position on adoption is. We're committed to finding a way to give all parties in the Adoption Triad a voice on Circle of Moms. If we run a Top 25 Adoption Blogs in the future, we'll consult with mom bloggers in each part of the Adoption Triad on how to create a supportive contest where all bloggers would feel welcome and respected by Circle of Moms and by all participants. We appreciate the time and energy every participant put into this contest during the past week, and we sincerely regret that we can't reward those efforts in the way we had planned to when we launched the contest.

We will be closing the contest at 3pm PST today and all blogs will be removed from the contest page.

Sincerely,
The Circle of Moms Team



Ironically- I think all members of the triad felt welcome and supported UNTIL they disqualified Cassi.   (although I suspect there was a contingent of "Sunshine and Roses" bloggers who complained about Cassi's blog in the first place)  They don't have to agree but Cassi had the right to be on that list- if they didn't like it they didn't have to read or vote.   Circle of Moms should had left it alone.  It was when they didn't that the problem started.  


The Circle Isn't Complete

As you all know- I am competing in the Top 25 Adoption and Foster Mom Blogs Contest over at Circle of Moms.com.  But something happened earlier this week that I find disturbing (although sadly not surprising)  Earlier this week Cassi, who blogs at Adoption Truth, had her blog disqualified because she (allegedly) wasn't writing "about adoptive parenting in a supportive and positive way"

I have spent some time on Cassi's blog (which admittedly was one I hadn't read prior to finding her on the Top 25 list- but I am a follower now)  To suggest that she isn't blogging about adoption in a supportive and positive way is absurd.  The issue is that she isn't saying the things that "they" want her to say.  She isn't blogging the "sunshine and roses, love is enough" garbage that adoption blogs are so often full of.  She is blogging her truth and in doing so, is forcing others (especially adoptive parents) to question theirs.  But questioning is what should be done.  Adoption separates a child from their family- I think any time we stop to ask the really really hard questions that is a good thing.  

I have blogged about very similar things (although viewed through the lens of international adoption) Just some of the things I have blogged about that are not the sunshine and roses view of adoption


Not to mention lots of posts on racial issues in general and transracial adoption issues in particular.  I don't think that my posts are not supportive or positive- the same way I don't believe Cassi's were not positive and support.  Sometimes positive support can be trying to fix a broken system or to teach someone another viewpoint or trying to counter the agendas of those who make money on adoption.

I am tired of people who speak out being labeled anti-adoption.  I believe that adoption can be a positive thing but not when there is coercion or corruption.  I think that all voices of the triad (first parent, adoptive parent and child) MUST be heard clearly.  But of those voices, the one that is heard the loudest is the adoptive parent and that is absolutely wrong.  Of all the voices, we are the ones who should shut up and listen to what first parents and adoptees are telling us.  If for no other reason than adoptive parents are the only member of the triad who lose nothing during adoption.  First parents lose their children, children (while they gain a different family) lose their first family and no matter what the circumstances surrounding that loss are- it is still a loss.  Adoptive parents lose... nothing.  So it behooves us to listen to those voices to learn from them.  

Luckily there are still several blogs that represent first mothers and adoptees on the list- and not only are they on the list- they are leading the pack.  

There was a lot of talk from some of the bloggers in the top 25 that they will remove their blogs if Cassi's is not reinstated.  And honestly, I thought about pulling mine as well but the bottom line is that I think these are the messages that adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents need to hear.  And I feel that the response to censorship must be more talk.  If I pull out and these other bloggers pull out- then there is no one left to speak about these issues.

We need a new narrative surrounding adoption and that narrative will come from ALL members of the triad.

(oh and if you only read one post from Cassi, make it this one)



Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Blackout




Call your Congressperson and say NO to internet censorship.  

NO on SOPA

NO on PIPA















































Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Make My School a Prison

Dear Governor Snyder [Walker, Kasich, Scott, Christie, Daniels, etc],
In these tough economic times, schools are hurting. And yes, everyone in Michigan [Wisconsin, Ohio, Florida, New Jersey, Indiana, etc] is hurting right now financially, but why aren’t we protecting schools? Schools are the one place on Earth that people look to to “fix” what is wrong with society by educating our youth and preparing them to take on the issues that society has created.
One solution I believe we must do is take a look at our corrections system in Michigan [Wisconsin, Ohio, Florida, New Jersey, Indiana, etc] . We rank nationally at the top in the number of people we incarcerate. We also spend the most money per prisoner annually than any other state in the union. Now, I like to be at the top of lists, but this is one ranking that I don’t believe Michigan [Wisconsin, Ohio, Florida, New Jersey, Indiana, etc] wants to be on top of.
Consider the life of a Michigan [Wisconsin, Ohio, Florida, New Jersey, Indiana, etc] prisoner. They get three square meals a day. Access to free health care. Internet. Cable television. Access to a library. A weight room. Computer lab. They can earn a degree. A roof over their heads. Clothing. Everything we just listed we DO NOT provide to our school children.
This is why I’m proposing to make my school a prison. The State of Michigan [Wisconsin, Ohio, Florida, New Jersey, Indiana, etc] spends annually somewhere between $30,000 and $40,000 per prisoner, yet we are struggling to provide schools with $7,000 per student. I guess we need to treat our students like they are prisoners, with equal funding. Please give my students three meals a day. Please give my children access to free health care. Please provide my school district Internet access and computers. Please put books in my library. Please give my students a weight room so we can be big and strong. We provide all of these things to prisoners because they have constitutional rights. What about the rights of youth, our future?!
Please provide for my students in my school district the same way we provide for a prisoner. It’s the least we can do to prepare our students for the future...by giving our schools the resources necessary to keep our students OUT of prison.
Respectfully submitted,
Nathan Bootz, Superintendent, Ithaca Public Schools

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Here's a Vote We Can All Agree On

A couple of wonderful friends of mine are on the board of Ethiopian Orphan Relief, a group dedicated to improving the conditions for the children who remain in Ethiopia. We privileged to be a donor for EOR and the work they do is amazing.

They are competing for a Classy Award in the category of Most Innovative Use of Social Media By A Charity. Please take a minute and pop over to the
Classy Awards website
and scroll down to
"Most Innovate Use of Social Media By a Charity"
and vote for them.


Here's more about the project:

Ethiopian Orphan Relief’s Project Gena Makes Holidays Merry

Ethiopian Orphan Relief, Inc. launched the Project Gena 2010 campaign in September of 2010 through various social media platforms. Supporters were asked to make Christmas merry for a child in Ethiopia by filling a backpack. In a 3 month window, 156 backpacks were stuffed and shipped to the orphans of Children’s Heaven and Friends of Orphans and Vulnerable Children (two of the 5 orphan care centers EOR serves).

While the primary goal of Ethiopian Orphan Relief is to to ensure that every child in Ethiopia has a warm bed, a loving influence, and sufficient education to better their lives. EOR’s focus on infrastructure (facilities, meal programs, health clinics, etc) sometimes makes it difficult for donors to feel connected to the orphans we serve. Sending backpacks filled with toys, clothes, school supplies, and letters gave donors an opportunity to connect with the children in a very immediate way. While the logistics of transporting the backpacks to Ethiopia (no direct shipping means that we rely on travelers to bring our donations to Ethiopia) made it impossible to send backpacks to every orphan care center we serve, there was no end to the support and enthusiasm for this project. Ethiopian Orphan Relief, like Edmund Burke, believes, “Nobody made a greater mistake than one who did nothing because he could do little.”

Project Gena 2010 made it possible for even small-scale donors to make an impact, and as a result, these donors felt more invested in the work of Ethiopian Orphan Relief, increasing the likelihood that they would give again during the year. We kick off Project Gena 2011 in August of this year. It will be annual event, bringing joy to people on 2 continents. Ethiopian Orphan Relief, Inc. appreciates all of its donors, both big and small. Every gift is a generous one, no matter the size.


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Remember 1985, Things Are Worse

Remember this...



or this.....


I VIVIDLY remember watching both the concert from London and then Philadelphia, wishing I was older so I could not only be there (cause let's me honest I was a teen and some of the hottest bands at the time were there) but also so I could donate money and be a part of something that seemed so big. Something that seemed like it was going to change the world. An end to famine and starvation- what an amazing thing to be a part of.

Well now it's 26 years later and not only have we not solved the problems of famine and scarcity in a world of plenty- but once again a significant portion of our world is poised on the brink of starvation. This time there is no worldwide concert, no benefit- just NGO's on the ground begging for the West to help.

It is with no small sense of irony that this post follows several posts about our vacation but the reality is, it does. And because it does, I am more acutely aware than usual at the degree of luxury and privilege my life (and that of my children) has. Children who are well fed, and tucked into a bed knowing that tomorrow their biggest problem with food might be that they don't like the variety of pop-tart that is left in the box (organic reasonably healthy pop-tarts at that)

It is hard to imagine that but for a series of events in the first 9 months of her life, K might be one of those children in the therapeutic feeding program, or in the refugee camps, or worse. She
could have been one of those faces in the photos- her birth family might be.
Instead she is in bed with swimmer's ear because she has gone swimming every day for the last 20 days on this side of the world where we don't worry about the water running out.

So I ask- Why are we still here 26 years later looking at photos of dusty places where there isn't enough to survive. We donated and gave and cared at least enough to assuage our guilt but nothing has changed. Scarcity is still an issue, poverty is still an issue and children are starving. In fact in the time it has taken you to read this post 3 children have died of starvation (and that number is 10 if you watched both videos too)
We have screwed up because money isn't the answer, and food aid isn't the answer-
those are things that provide enough "help" to keep us from actually having to help.

Of course, in the short term, meeting the immediate need is crucial. And as soon as you finish reading this post, click here and select a charity that appeals to you and donate what you can. Then see if you can live without your 20 oz soda or cafe grande for a couple of days and donate a little more.
But don't relax after that because you ARE. NOT. DONE.

'Cause see- we have both been there and done that and it isn't enough. So here's what you need to do...
Go to the library and check this book out
It provides a fairly easy to read and comprehensive look at why starvation and poverty continue and exactly what the first world needs to do differently if we are ever going to eliminate poverty, famine and starvation.
And yes, it takes us giving up a little piece of the pie but lets be honest- look at us.
We really don't need that piece of pie.

I would also recommend this book but it is a much heavier read and you will get what you need to know just reading Enough.

And then lobby our government to do what's right, and other governments to do what is right. And get involved to make the real changes that would prevent this

image from http://patriciashannon.blogspot.com/2011/07/famine-in-horn-of-africa-how-to-help.html

images from http://senweb.lr.k12.nj.us/Library/class%20projects/Stapleford/famine45/weather%20katie.htm

No mother should have to watch their child die from a situation that we have the power to solve RIGHT NOW-

if we choose to.

Please donate now but don't stop there.

Donate. Learn. Lobby. Inform. Advocate.

But above all Speak Out because when millions understand, they will not remain silent.

Permission is granted to repost this- just provide credit and a link back

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Day of Pink

International Day of Pink is a day to stand against bullying, discrimination and homophobia. Enjoy what these students in Vancouver created for Day of Pink


Read more about the making of the video here

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Big Changes in Ethiopia and

Is the fox guarding the hen house?

Already a program experiencing significant changes in the last year, Ethiopia has announced another dramatic step for their international adoption program (now the second most popular for US parents)

You can read the
US state department announcement
Given MOWCYA's current caseload, the U.S. Embassy anticipates that this change could result in an overall decline in case processing of some 90 percent. If this change is implemented as proposed, we expect, that parents who have begun the process of adopting from Ethiopia but have not yet been matched with a child could experience significant delays. It is not clear if this change in procedures would have any significant impact on cases in which MOWCYA has already approved matches.

The corruption in Ethiopia has become irrefutable and is apparently far more wide spread than previously understood. In fact, there are only 4-5 agencies that are widely considered ethical and even several of those have at least one thing that could be improved to make the process more transparent.

In a nutshell here are the issues
1. Ethiopia has few restrictions on who is eligible to adopt
2. Ethiopia has a very poor populace who have limited access to resources (including education, medical care and employment)
3. Ethiopia is a relatively easy country for agencies to work in
4. Many long term IA countries are closed or closing (either officially or unofficially) For example, the continuing to grow wait times in China mean that many agencies are looking to find another sending counrty to replace their lost income from China adoptions. In fact many previously China-only agencies are opening programs in countries with questionable adoption practices and limited government (like Ethiopia)
5. The Ethiopian courts are unable to consistently identify children who have been kidnapped, trafficked or relinquished under false pretenses
6. There are many children who are parentless due to the AIDS epidemic, but those children are not the infant female as young as possible profile that most parents request. In fact, in many -if not most- infant adoptions the child has at least one living birth parent.

So when you take a birthfamily with little education and access to resources, in a country with little governmental infastructure and add to that cash strapped agencies looking to expand their adoption program while at the same time recognizing that not only are the majority of children who need families not the children prospective adoptive families are looking for but that they need to "find" infants who will fit the profile and you have a recipe for some of the abuses that have been seen in Ethiopia in the last several years.

So, and I acknowledge that I say this with the benefit of being finished with my adoption, if the government feels they have to make this drastic change to ensure their children are not being stolen away- well good for them. (and no one knows how this is going to play out -I mean if we have learned one thing recently in the US is that what government says it is going to do and what it does are often two very different things. Also no one knows yet which agencies will be effected or if they will all be effected equally.)

But then this popped up in my in-box and on multiple online forums. It is from JCICS (who is a group working to place children in families by specifically representing the interests of adoption agencies and adoptive families)

Don't get me wrong- they do some great work but in this case I think the fox is guarding the henhouse.

Here is the press release
Last week the Ethiopian Ministry of Women’s, Children's, and Youth Affairs announced their intention to reduce intercountry adoptions by 90% beginning March 10, 2011.
The Ministry’s plan for a dramatic reduction is apparently based on two primary issues;
1) the assumption that corruption in intercountry adoption is systemic and rampant and; (there is ongoing evidence that it is systemic)

2) the Ministry’s resources should be focused on the children for whom intercountry adoption is not an option.
(It seems to me that their focus should be on keeping children in the country and ideally with their families- It bothers me they say this as if it were a bad goal)

Here is the text of the petition they are circulating along with my comments
The Ministry’s plan to reduce intercountry adoption by 90% is a tragic, unnecessary and a disproportionate reaction to concerns of isolated abuses in the intercountry adoption process.

While I think that the 90% might be a larger number than necessary, the fact is that there are not isolated concerns. Ethiopia recently revoked the license of one of the worst offenders but the agency in the center of the "Fly Away Children" expose is still operating. Part, if not all, of the reason that the Ethiopian government now requires two trips is that so parents actually physically see the child prior to the court date that legalizes the adoption. Many agencies were misrepresenting the health and condition of the child in the referral data and parents were arriving in Ethiopia to find that the child they were the legal parent of had significant disabilities. Some of those parents were unable to bring the children home, leaving them in Ethiopia in a legal limbo. It happened enough to necessitate a program wide change in when parents meet the children. Doesn't sound like isolated abuses to me. I personally know the stories of at least 10 families (representing 9-10 different agencies) in which the children were told to lie, their information falsified and in some cases, their parents promised their children were only leaving to get an education or that their children would sponsor them to come to the US. And if I know 10 cases, there are many more not talked about due to gag clauses in agency contracts. It is not isolated.


We support the Ministry’s goal of ensuring ethical adoptions that serve the best interest of children and serve all vulnerable children & families.
I can't disagree with that except to say that adoption (even when ethical) is not always what is in the best interest in of the child and it is a flawed premise to assume that adoption is the solution for every child.

We respectfully urge the Ministry to consider the overwhelmingly positive, ethical and legal services provided to children and families through intercountry adoption. Rather than eliminate the right of Ethiopian children to a permanent family, we encourage the Ministry to accept the partnerships offered by governments, NGOs, and foundations.
Many of the partnerships that JCICS is talking about are run by the very adoption agencies in question. That's not to say that an agency can't do NGO work and adoption at the same time, but it muddies the ethical waters- particuarly if the NGO work involves birthing centers, or homes for pregnant women

Such partnerships could increase the Ministry’s capacity to regulate service providers, further ensure ethical adoptions and expand services to more families and children.

This is really the set up right now. Agencies run their NGO activities while also doing adoptions. Ethiopia requires agencies to do some kind of charitable program as a condition of working in Ethiopia. However, many agencies have started programs that make it easy to identify pregnant women and infants. The Ministry doesn't have the capacity to regulate service providers as things stand now, which is why they are taking these measures.

We, respectfully urge the Ministry of Women’s, Children's and Youth Affairs to reconsider its plan and to partner with governments, NGOs and foundations to achieve their goals and avoid the coming tragedy for children and families.
While I think that is unfortunate that the timing from referral to travel might lengthen to up to a year and while I think that making a child who is going to be adopted anyway wait for additional time is tragic, I also think that it is tragic that a birth family has lost their child(ren) through the overt actions of a corrupt agency. Yes, it is tragic that adoptive parents and children will have to wait longer it is far more tragic for a family to have lost their child through lack of support (via legitimate NGOs), through deception or outright kidnapping. And how can we look at our self in the mirror if we say our inconvenience is greater than their loss.

It has been said that adoption is a redemptive response to tragedy, but when that tragedy is created or exploited by unscrupulous agencies, there is nothing redemptive about it.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Hate Has No Place Here

Sign the NAACP Pledge Against Hate

  • I believe all Americans have equal rights and equal value.
  • I cherish the diverse cultures, beliefs, and values of America.
  • I believe we can disagree without being disagreeable.
  • I repudiate all acts of racism and hate, both in words and action.
  • I have faith in the promise of America – a promise built on mutual respect, common civility, and hope for a better tomorrow.
  • I commit to building that better America by participating actively and peacefully in the democratic process.

We are one people. We are one nation. I’m an NAACP American.


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