Monday, July 2, 2012

The Stories of First Parents and Adoptees Should Matter

to adoptive parents most of all.   They hold a message for us all, so why won't we listen.  Why can't we accept their stories as their truth instead of attempting to minimize them.  Why do we call them names and refer to them as angry or disgruntled or ungrateful or hateful or .... and the list goes on.  Why can't we just listen?  Why do we find every happy adoptee or first mother story and hold that out as being the "truth" and yet the other side of the story is aberrant- an exception.  When do enough voices make us understand this isn't just a couple of people.  Or will we always cling to that one voice that doesn't make us question ourselves as the truth- even in the face of overwhelming evidence that adoption is complex and hard and messy.

Sometimes the truths we need to hear are the hardest ones to actually hear.  Sometimes we need someone else to inject some truth from beyond our own little world view into our lives to make us better people.

Understanding the emotions, perspectives and circumstances of adult adoptees and first mothers would make us better parents to our children.
It's time to pay attention.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Weekend Wisdom

"In the end, we will protect only what we love.  We will love only what we understand.  We will understand only what we are taught."
-Baba Dioum

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Who's Got Spirit? We've Got Spirit!

I let the girls go to cheer camp for a cheer clinic...  Now it's all they talk about.
I may have unleashed a monster...







Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Wordless Wednesday



(In honor of all the places dealing with heat and fire this week- the ice sheet over the North Pole)

Monday, June 25, 2012

Are They Twins?

So I find it funny how many times people start to ask me if D and K are twins.  Actually it goes more like this...
"Are they twi----,  how old are they?"  
People start to ask, then realize that the question is well kind of dumb.
But in case there is any confusion...
"Yes, they are sisters- you can tell by how they are arguing."

"No, they are not twins."

"Yes, they are about the same size."

"Yes, the younger one is bigger.  Yes I am sure I don't have their ages wrong.  And I assure you I haven't mixed them up- if you haven't noticed they don't really look alike."



Sunday, June 24, 2012

Weekend Wisdom

"Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire weapons and ammunition they desire.
Too often we honor swagger and bluster and the wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach nonviolence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.
Some looks for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear; violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleaning of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.
For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is a slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.
This is the breaking of a man's spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all. I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies - to be met not with cooperation but with conquest, to be subjugated and mastered.
We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community, men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear - only a common desire to retreat from each other - only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this there are no final answers.
Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is now what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of human purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.
We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of all. We must admit in ourselves that our own children's future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.
Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanish it with a program, nor with a resolution.
But we can perhaps remember - even if only for a time - that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short movement of life, that they seek - as we do - nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.
Surely this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our hearts brothers and countrymen once again."
-Robert F. Kennedy

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Birthday Photos (finally)









For the first time, he didn't want a party so we just had the family over to swim in the pool and cookout.

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