You Had to Think I Might Mention It- the N word

The whole Dr. Laura "N" word saga.

I was going to blog, then I decided not to, then after thinking about it for a little longer here we are. And no you aren't going to find answers here cause well, I don't know the answer and in talking to several other people both in real life and online it appears the answer varies based on the person.

For those who didn't hear the situation- you can find it all over the internet (probably with lots of different spin)

There have been lots of very valid points raised in the debate but I have to begin with

What was she thinking????

First of all, the caller wasn't asking for advice on dealing with the people making the racist statements- she was calling asking for advice on how to deal with her husband who was letting his friends make these statements to her and not intervening. But lets set aside that detail and deal with Dr Laura repeatedly saying the "n" word.

There have been a multitude of responses from "Oh poor thing, her first amendment rights have been violated" to "Can you believe how racist she is" and pretty much every thing in between. The comments I have most seen from white people are either along the line that "no one should use that word period" or along the "Black people say it all the time, why can't we" line of thought. And there are certainly African Americans who would agree with the "no one should say it" belief- people like the NAACP and this well spoken 11 year old



There are also many who don't agree. Dr Laura herself pointed out that word is used by some African Americans, although she missed a pretty important point that those same people are actually using the word Ni@@a, and not Ni@@er, which is a pretty critical distinction. Ni@@a is often used by African Americans vernacularly with no offense intended or taken. Ni@@er is derogatory pretty much regardless of who is speaking. In the first case, there are people allowed to say it. Dr Laura is not one of them, and neither is pretty much any other white person out there. In the words of one of my friends- "this is the only example of black privilege- we can say it- you can't."

However, as a white person, this is not an issue I am truly qualified to have an opinion on. If African Americans want to take control of a word that for hundreds of years was used to denigrate and dehumanize them, it is not my place to judge whether or not that is an appropriate thing to do. That is for the African American community to decide.

But what I am stuck on is all my white friends who say "no one should say it" (and I acknowledge that is also a position held by many African Americans too) but I have to wonder if there is more to why white people object to the vernacular ni@@a. For some people, is it that they are so steeped in white privilege that they can't accept there are things they CAN'T say? Probably for some people. But I think more than that we want it to go away because it is a clear and present reminder of the true ugliness of our past- that every time that word is said it harkens back to a time when human beings were property and were treated as such. It is a word that in two syllables reminds us of a horrifying chapter in our collective history and maybe it would be easier to have that blatant reminder gone.

And maybe it would be- I would probably prefer no one say it too- but if no one saying also means that we can whitewash over not only that period of US history but also our current racial reality, then maybe it is better the word still exists, cause racism certainly still exists. Maybe we need that reminder that the work is far from over and while we might not be what we were, we certainly are not yet what we ought to be.