As you all know- I am competing in the Top 25 Adoption and Foster Mom Blogs Contest over at Circle of Moms.com. But something happened earlier this week that I find disturbing (although sadly not surprising) Earlier this week Cassi, who blogs at Adoption Truth, had her blog disqualified because she (allegedly) wasn't writing "about adoptive parenting in a supportive and positive way"
I have spent some time on Cassi's blog (which admittedly was one I hadn't read prior to finding her on the Top 25 list- but I am a follower now) To suggest that she isn't blogging about adoption in a supportive and positive way is absurd. The issue is that she isn't saying the things that "they" want her to say. She isn't blogging the "sunshine and roses, love is enough" garbage that adoption blogs are so often full of. She is blogging her truth and in doing so, is forcing others (especially adoptive parents) to question theirs. But questioning is what should be done. Adoption separates a child from their family- I think any time we stop to ask the really really hard questions that is a good thing.
I have blogged about very similar things (although viewed through the lens of international adoption) Just some of the things I have blogged about that are not the sunshine and roses view of adoption
Not to mention lots of posts on racial issues in general and transracial adoption issues in particular. I don't think that my posts are not supportive or positive- the same way I don't believe Cassi's were not positive and support. Sometimes positive support can be trying to fix a broken system or to teach someone another viewpoint or trying to counter the agendas of those who make money on adoption.
I am tired of people who speak out being labeled anti-adoption. I believe that adoption can be a positive thing but not when there is coercion or corruption. I think that all voices of the triad (first parent, adoptive parent and child) MUST be heard clearly. But of those voices, the one that is heard the loudest is the adoptive parent and that is absolutely wrong. Of all the voices, we are the ones who should shut up and listen to what first parents and adoptees are telling us. If for no other reason than adoptive parents are the only member of the triad who lose nothing during adoption. First parents lose their children, children (while they gain a different family) lose their first family and no matter what the circumstances surrounding that loss are- it is still a loss. Adoptive parents lose... nothing. So it behooves us to listen to those voices to learn from them.
Luckily there are still several blogs that represent first mothers and adoptees on the list- and not only are they on the list- they are leading the pack.
There was a lot of talk from some of the bloggers in the top 25 that they will remove their blogs if Cassi's is not reinstated. And honestly, I thought about pulling mine as well but the bottom line is that I think these are the messages that adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents need to hear. And I feel that the response to censorship must be more talk. If I pull out and these other bloggers pull out- then there is no one left to speak about these issues.
We need a new narrative surrounding adoption and that narrative will come from ALL members of the triad.
1 comment:
Of all the voices, we are the ones who should shut up and listen to what first parents and adoptees are telling us. YEP!
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