What the ----? Catholic League

The Catholic League sent this out on their Twitter account yesterday...

Introducing a New Feature, What the ----?

I have decided it is time for a new feature around here (and after the last couple of days with the Circle of Moms craziness) it seems like as good a time as any.  

Making it's debut soon after this post will the be first addition of a feature I will be calling 

What the ----?  

(you can insert whatever four letter word you would like.  I know which one I will use, but I didn't want to offend)  

Once you see the first one- I think the rest will be self explanatory

Well This is an Interesting Development

I just got this email.....

Hello,

After serious consideration, we have decided to cancel our Adoption Blogs by Moms – 2012 contest. Our Top 25 program is meant to celebrate, connect, and support mom bloggers. Following some feedback from participants in our 2011 contest, we decided to make this year's Top 25 more inclusive. In doing so, we unknowingly stepped into a very sensitive issue and debate, and we apologize to all the moms who have been offended, no matter what your position on adoption is. We're committed to finding a way to give all parties in the Adoption Triad a voice on Circle of Moms. If we run a Top 25 Adoption Blogs in the future, we'll consult with mom bloggers in each part of the Adoption Triad on how to create a supportive contest where all bloggers would feel welcome and respected by Circle of Moms and by all participants. We appreciate the time and energy every participant put into this contest during the past week, and we sincerely regret that we can't reward those efforts in the way we had planned to when we launched the contest.

We will be closing the contest at 3pm PST today and all blogs will be removed from the contest page.

Sincerely,
The Circle of Moms Team

Ironically- I think all members of the triad felt welcome and supported UNTIL they disqualified Cassi.   (although I suspect there was a contingent of "Sunshine and Roses" bloggers who complained about Cassi's blog in the first place)  They don't have to agree but Cassi had the right to be on that list- if they didn't like it they didn't have to read or vote.   Circle of Moms should had left it alone.  It was when they didn't that the problem started.  

The Circle Isn't Complete

As you all know- I am competing in the Top 25 Adoption and Foster Mom Blogs Contest over at Circle of Moms.com.  But something happened earlier this week that I find disturbing (although sadly not surprising)  Earlier this week Cassi, who blogs at Adoption Truth, had her blog disqualified because she (allegedly) wasn't writing "about adoptive parenting in a supportive and positive way"

I have spent some time on Cassi's blog (which admittedly was one I hadn't read prior to finding her on the Top 25 list- but I am a follower now)  To suggest that she isn't blogging about adoption in a supportive and positive way is absurd.  The issue is that she isn't saying the things that "they" want her to say.  She isn't blogging the "sunshine and roses, love is enough" garbage that adoption blogs are so often full of.  She is blogging her truth and in doing so, is forcing others (especially adoptive parents) to question theirs.  But questioning is what should be done.  Adoption separates a child from their family- I think any time we stop to ask the really really hard questions that is a good thing.  

I have blogged about very similar things (although viewed through the lens of international adoption) Just some of the things I have blogged about that are not the sunshine and roses view of adoption

JCICS's offensive campaign to get the Ethiopian government to release more babies.

Continuing to choose Ethiopia in light of the ethical concerns

About who is the best parent for children

The likely agenda behind "saving" mingi babies in Ethiopia

Judging parents for abandonment

Not to mention lots of posts on racial issues in general and transracial adoption issues in particular.  I don't think that my posts are not supportive or positive- the same way I don't believe Cassi's were not positive and support.  Sometimes positive support can be trying to fix a broken system or to teach someone another viewpoint or trying to counter the agendas of those who make money on adoption.

I am tired of people who speak out being labeled anti-adoption.  I believe that adoption can be a positive thing but not when there is coercion or corruption.  I think that all voices of the triad (first parent, adoptive parent and child) MUST be heard clearly.  But of those voices, the one that is heard the loudest is the adoptive parent and that is absolutely wrong.  Of all the voices, we are the ones who should shut up and listen to what first parents and adoptees are telling us.  If for no other reason than adoptive parents are the only member of the triad who lose nothing during adoption.  First parents lose their children, children (while they gain a different family) lose their first family and no matter what the circumstances surrounding that loss are- it is still a loss.  Adoptive parents lose... nothing.  So it behooves us to listen to those voices to learn from them.  

Luckily there are still several blogs that represent first mothers and adoptees on the list- and not only are they on the list- they are leading the pack.  

There was a lot of talk from some of the bloggers in the top 25 that they will remove their blogs if Cassi's is not reinstated.  And honestly, I thought about pulling mine as well but the bottom line is that I think these are the messages that adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents need to hear.  And I feel that the response to censorship must be more talk.  If I pull out and these other bloggers pull out- then there is no one left to speak about these issues.

We need a new narrative surrounding adoption and that narrative will come from ALL members of the triad.

(oh and if you only read one post from Cassi, make it this one)

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Birthday X

I can't believe that is been 8 years. 

Happy Happy Birthday little man!

Hoppy Easter

A recap of the Easter fun!!!

Waiting for the egg hunt to start...

Finding the eggs

The bunny showed up for photos

  

The annual painting of the eggs...

 

Easter morning

(oh and while you are here- click the pink button at the top of the right column and vote for us as a Top Mommy Blog)